Discussion Group Leader Training

Hi Ladies,

Here is an excellent plan for training your Discussion Group Leaders.

MOPS Discussion Group Leader Training


I. The Shepherd’s Role (4 pages)
II. Article – Discussion Groups: Where Nurturing Happens
III. Troubleshooting in Small Groups
IV. Discussion Group Leader’s Checklist
V. Prayer (3 pages)
VI. Prayer Request Journal
VII. 11 Ways to Demolish Community
VIII. Active Listening (2 pages)

The Shepherd’s Role

Ezekiel 34:1-16a

Background: Many rulers, kings, and high officials throughout the ancient Near East were known as “shepherds.” In Israel, this designation was also given to prophets and priests. Ezekiel34 provides a picture of God’s judgement on Israel’s shepherds for not fulfilling their duty and role. By studying this passage we can determine what are the expectations that God has for his shepherds over his people.


1. In five words or less…what is the primary role of a shepherd?

____________ ____________ ____________ ____________ ____________

2. The role of a shepherd can be broken down into different tasks. From the passage, list the different tasks that are expected from a shepherd toward the sheep on the left side of the chart.

Shepherd


MOPS Leader



3. How would each of the roles you just listed compare to the roles expected from a MOPS leader in your position today? Fill in the right side of the chart.
Personal Response & Application


1. Share an example when someone played a shepherding role in your life.



2. What role(s) of a shepherd do you feel most comfortable with? What role(s) are (will be) most challenging for you as you shepherd your discussion group, team or class?





3. Name some things you will do during a given week as you shepherd your group.



Passages for further study & discussion:Psalm 23
John 10:11-16John 21:15-181 Peter 5:1-4
Acts 20:25-31
Ezekiel 34:1-16a (NIV)


Shepherds and Sheep
1 The word of the LORD came to me: 2 "Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy and say to them: 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Woe to the shepherds of Israel who only take care of themselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? 3 You eat the curds, clothe yourselves with the wool and slaughter the choice animals, but you do not take care of the flock. 4 You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally. 5 So they were scattered because there was no shepherd, and when they were scattered they became food for all the wild animals. 6 My sheep wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. They were scattered over the whole earth, and no one searched or looked for them. 7 " 'Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the LORD : 8 As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD , because my flock lacks a shepherd and so has been plundered and has become food for all the wild animals, and because my shepherds did not search for my flock but cared for themselves rather than for my flock, 9 therefore, O shepherds, hear the word of the LORD : 10 This is what the Sovereign LORD says: I am against the shepherds and will hold them accountable for my flock. I will remove them from tending the flock so that the shepherds can no longer feed themselves. I will rescue my flock from their mouths, and it will no longer be food for them. 11 " 'For this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. 12 As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness. 13 I will bring them out from the nations and gather them from the countries, and I will bring them into their own land. I will pasture them on the mountains of Israel, in the ravines and in all the settlements in the land. 14 I will tend them in a good pasture, and the mountain heights of Israel will be their grazing land. There they will lie down in good grazing land, and there they will feed in a rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. 15 I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign LORD . 16 I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak…

Discussion Groups:
Where Nurturing Happens
By Vickie Musni, Nevada CC

MOPS International exists to nurture every mother of preschoolers by meeting her distinct needs to the glory of Jesus Christ. As leaders in MOPS, we have heard this dozens if not hundreds of times. But how does it happen? How can every mother be nurtured? How will her distinct needs be met? How is each MOPS group bringing glory to Jesus Christ?

I think the answer to each of these questions lies in the discussion group leaders having a clear understanding of their role as shepherds. Each woman who attends MOPS needs to be known by her leader if she is going to be nurtured and have her distinct needs met. Her leader also needs to know her to find out where she is on her spiritual journey. The handbook states that one of the purposes of the discussion groups is to “provide a nurturing atmosphere where a woman is gently challenged to examine her relationship with Christ and encouraged to make a commitment to him – the ultimate goal of the MOPS ministry.”

There are many places in the Bible that use the analogy of sheep and shepherds. My favorite is Ezekiel 34:1-16a. Many rulers, kings, and high officials throughout the ancient Near East were known as “shepherds.” In Israel, this designation was also given to prophets and priests. Ezekiel 34 provides a picture of God’s judgement on Israel’s shepherds for not fulfilling their duty and role. By studying this passage we can determine what are the expectations that God has for his shepherds over his people.

The expectations of the shepherds given in this passage include strengthening the weak, healing the sick, binding up the injured, bringing back the strays, searching for the lost, tending them in a good pasture, looking after them, having them lie down in good grazing land. What would those things look like today, in a MOPS ministry? It may befriending, supporting and praying for a woman going through a difficult time. It might mean making a meal or arranging childcare or housecleaning for a family who experiencing the birth of a new baby or an illness or other challenging circumstance. “Having them lie down in good grazing land” could translate “having a girls’ night out with lots of chocolate cake!” It means helping your discussion group move beyond casual conversation and surface-level questions to a deeper place – a place where each woman is known, accepted, loved. Discussion groups are about building relationships with one another, and leading moms into a relationship with Jesus Christ.

For Personal Reflection & Application

4. Think of an example when someone played a shepherding role in your life.
5. What role(s) of a shepherd do you feel most comfortable with? What role(s) is most challenging for you as you shepherd your discussion group?
6. List some things you will do during a given week as you shepherd your group.

Passages for further study:Psalm 23
John 10:11-16John 21:15-181 Peter 5:1-4
Acts 20:25-31
TROUBLESHOOTING IN SMALL GROUPS
Problems show up in even the best groups. Here are some of the most common group problems, with some symptoms and suggested solutions.

SYMPTOM
POSSIBLE PROBLEMS
APPROACHES
Quiet members
questions are too hard or too easy; lack of trust; leader and others not handling silence well and jumping in too quickly
Have a quiet member do something easy like simply read out loud; remind members: “Verbal people need to hold back at times; quiet members need to push themselves to speak up.” Direct some questions specifically to the quiet person; allow time for people to think
Overly talkative member
outgoing; doesn’t like silence; sees things quickly
Talk to privately. Mention that we need silence after some questions to think and reflect. Ask for help in drawing others out. Suggest she ask, “What do some of the rest of you think?”
Always-right member
knows right way for everything; knows only one interpretation of situation or Bible verse
Avoid arguing right and wrong. Put focus back on the topic at hand and collect more data and summarize. Clarify facts. Help group look for alternatives and see “right” person’s frame of reference, e.g. “In what circumstances might Sue’s interpretation hold true?”
Disagreeing member
“But” is favorite word; “That’s true, but…” May hold group back from action or conclusions, causing group to stagnate.
Give feedback to disagreeing member; “What exactly causes your hesitation?” Confront group with choice of holding back (no risk) or going ahead (with risk but also growth): "How can we get around this objection?”
Superficial sharing
Leader not setting example; community building no challenging growth as a group
Plan community exercises carefully for stage of group’s development. Ask for specifics in sharing. Be open and specific in your own sharing. Meet one-on-one outside group for sharing and prayer.
Members with ongoing problems
Problems dominate group life. Member monopolizes group with personal crises
Talk individually to the person, suggesting resources for help (e.g. counseling). Help group see its purpose, identity (MOPS groups are not therapy groups). Continue in prayer and loving support.


Adapted from Good Things Come in Small Groups, by Ron Nicholas
Discussion Group Leader’s Checklist

IX. When a Discussion Group is over, each Discussion Group
Leader should take a few minutes to ask herself these questions.

1. Did everyone present take part in the discussion?

2. Was it a lecture, conversation, or discussion?

3. Did anyone become the group teacher?

4. Did the discussion expand on the material discussed in the talk?

5. Did you guide the discussion with questions?

6. Did you keep to the subject? (Brief digressions are okay if the group expressed interest in one individual’s vital concerns. This requires sensitivity and balance.)

7. Did you finish on time?

8. Was anyone interrupted at any time in the discussion?

9. Did anyone seem to open up? Close up?

10. Did anyone seem to express a change of opinion as a result of the talk or the discussion?

11. Did anyone leave with an air of dissatisfaction?

12. What can I be praying for before the next meeting?

If you are not satisfied with answers to any of these questions, consult with your Discussion Group Team Leader for her guidance.




Compiled by Kristy Hagan, Council Coordinator for Missouri
Praying for Yourself


Hebrews 4:16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

2 Corinthians 4:1 Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart.

2 Corinthians 3:4-6 Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant – not of the letter but of the Spirit for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

In Luke 11:1 the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray. We, too, can ask that same question.

A shepherd (small group leader) should pray for herself!

What should you ask God for?________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When we realize that our adequacy and our competence no longer come from us but from God, and we draw on His resources daily, He keeps us from losing heart.

More than we need to be taught how to pray, we just need to be taught to pray! Prayer is a continual declaration of dependence upon God.

It is the Lord’s desire that we operate in the power of the Spirit, not in the flesh. Having an active and honest prayer life makes us wise in the ways of our flesh (self-effort) and enables us to serve in submission to the Holy Spirit.

KEY QUESTION: How can you tell if you are operating in the flesh or in the Spirit?Praying for the People in Your Group

Based on your own experiences, list some reasons why you pray for others.
¨ _________________________________________________________
¨ _________________________________________________________
¨ _________________________________________________________
¨ _________________________________________________________

Sovereignty
Why do we pray? Because God has commanded us to pray! He will fulfill all of His will, but God has chosen to use the prayers of His people as the means by which He works. He is not limited by our prayers or by our lack of praying. God could never be limited by man in any way. God is only limited by Himself, He cannot do what does not fulfill His purposes or bring Him glory. But in our prayers, God calls us to participate with Him in the fulfillment of His will. We pray for the same reason that we preach. We know that God will bring to Himself all those whom He has elected to salvation, but He has chosen to use preaching as the means of drawing His chosen ones to Himself (Romans 10:14). In the same way, God has chosen prayer as the means by which He works out His will.
Prayer involves us in spiritual battle for the people in our groups. We need to be praying for their spiritual protection, that the enemy will not snatch the truths they are learning.
Prayer will help deepen your relationship with group members. The Lord will honor your prayer by sharing knowledge of the others with you, giving you discernment you would not have otherwise. This is true even if you do not have a natural affinity for a particular group member. The Lord will change our hearts through prayer.
We need to remember that even though many in MOPS are Christians and/or come from Christian homes, you may be the only one praying for them in a consistent manner. This makes the responsibility and privilege of prayer even more important.

As you pray for each person, how do you keep your prayers fresh and prevent them from becoming routine and repetitious?

1. Pray a picture.
For example: a hedge of protection
that they would be attracted to walk in the light
that they would blossom like flowers into new truth

2. Think about the topic discussed at the last MOPS meeting. Find an application and pray that for your sheep.

3. Picture each person. Recall how she looked and acted at the last meeting. Review notes from any phone conversations.

4. Be quiet before the Lord and ask the Holy Spirit how you should pray. Don't fall into the trap that it is your responsibility to figure out how to pray.

5. Praying at a particular time of day and in a special place can help.
Music can enable your mind to settle. Kneeling often helps one to concentrate.

6. Find something from your quiet time to pray for the people in your group.

7. Remember to Whom you are praying. Read Isaiah 6:1-6 or Revelation 4.
The power of prayer comes from who is listening, not who is praying.

We must persevere in prayer and not be discouraged. The enemy will try anything and everything to keep us from praying. We must remember that a prayerless shepherd is a faithless shepherd. Your most important and powerful ministry on behalf of your sheep is prayer.

Another Caution
Be careful not to be so focused on interceding for your flock that you forsake praying for yourself, your family and friends. Also remember not to forsake your personal quiet time.

An additional note - As we all know God works from the "inside out" as He matures us in Christ-likeness. As we co-partner with Him we also should pray for the inside things (spiritual concerns, things unseen, etc.).


Prayer Request Journal

Date
Person
Request
Personal Response


11 Ways To Demolish Community
(A.K.A. 11 Things NOT to do in a Small Group)
1. Take sides
2. Lecture
3. Ignore
4. Give (unsolicited) advice
5. Focus on your own story
6. Interrupt
7. Not listen
8. Find fault
9. Fix it
10. Brush over it
11. Guilt by Scripture/Dogma
Active Listening Skills

What you say
- invite comments from the group
This may be especially important for more shy members. It may take them longer to process the ideas being discussed. Watch for cues that they’re ready to participate, but don’t put them on the spot. If someone is dominating the conversation, direct questions elsewhere.

- empathize with people’s emotions
Use “feeling” words to paraphrase key things and share a feeling a member might have. Most feeling words will stem from “mad, sad, glad, scared” and might include confused, overwhelmed, angry, elated, etc. "You seem overwhelmed.” “Did you feel confused when that happened?”

-use “I” statements
“I” statements = “I feel (emotion) when you do (action) in (situation).”

- explore their statements, seeking more information
- clarify what has been said

What you hear
-Verbal: the content of what is said. Sometimes we are so interested in what we are about to say that we fail to hear the simple facts in a discussion. As you listen, focus on people’s names, events, dates, and other specific information that is being shared.

-Nonverbal: how the content is expressed. Here you are listening for congruity; that is, do the nonverbal messages match the verbal messages? Listen for this in three areas: facial expressions, tone of voice, body movements and posture.

Remember - as a group discussion leader, you also give verbal and nonverbal messages to your group!

Skills

Passive Listening Active Listening

Attitude Rejecting, critical Receptive, accepting
“I’m really not interested.” “I really want to hear.”

Focus Me--what I want to say Other person--you think about what others are saying
“What do I think?” “What does she mean?”

Response This is what I’ve been Telling first what you have
thinking hear the other person say
“I think you should. . .” “You think. . .”
“You feel. . .”

Message What you said isn’t You heard both the feeling and
important the need in the message
“I didn’t really hear “I heard what you said.”
what you said.”

Results Frustration, anger Satisfaction, willing to compromise or tell more.
“I don’t care.” “I care about what you said.”


When something hurts you or someone else in the group, say “Ouch!” Give the members of your discussion group permission to do so too!


Compiled by Kristy Hagan, Council Coordinator for Missouri