No Mom Alone

(Please note that Denise Kother asked me to enter this post for her.)


In the past few days, my little world has been turned upside down. I will get very personal with you as I share what has happened. On Memorial Day, in the middle of making my potato salad for a picnic we were going to, I had a miscarriage. The days that followed have not been easy at all. Emotionally and physically, they have been some of the hardest days to deal with. It has even made me question having another child. And yet in the middle of all of this I found out that yet another couple that my husband and I are friends with is getting a divorce. I am not sure why, but it looks like it is going to get ugly because there are children involved. So in the middle of my emotional misery I found myself wondering how did this happen? They are both believers and have been married for 15 years and seemed happy. But somehow somewhere along the road of life they lost their way to each other. Now I understand why my friend stopped calling me; it wasn’t anything I did even thought I thought it was.

When my husband and I got married, there were a few couples that were our friends and we hung out with a lot. We started having children about the same time, went on vacation together, had dinner parties and spent a lot of time together. In the past 4 years, some of those marriages have dissolved in different ways. I can’t say for certain what has happened to them; however two of them had infidelity as a part of the problem in the marriages. We have looked up to these couples and felt that their marriages were strong. But it seems that all of these couples got lost along the road of life and thought that things were better or different if they just had something more or someone else in there lives.

A year ago I wanted to buy a new and bigger house because I wanted to have more children we would need more space. Well the Lord thought that the house we were in was much better, and we couldn’t sell our current house. Looking back I am so glad we didn’t. I had that want for things to be bigger and better to give me more of what I wanted. I stopped really listening to the Lord and followed my own path. Thankfully, I didn’t stop listening to my husband who kept pointing out that if the Lord wanted us to move we would have sold our house no problem. So this year I have begun to try and reconnect with the Lord. I completed the Bible study on the book of Daniel by Beth Moore. She made me see what my Babylon was and how I was so caught up in what I didn’t have that I forgot what I did have! One of the things that I came to realize during those past months is that all I need is right in front of my face and that I have to open my eyes and see it. I have a wonderful, hard-working husband who does all he can for me. I have three beautiful children who are filled with God’s love. Most of all I have a home, and as little as it is, it is mine. I have realized that I don’t need a big house to have more children, just lots of love (and patience). I also know that God is the one who has blessed me and protects me from the materialistic views of the world, and as long as I keep Him as my center, He will guide me.

As for the couples we know, two of them are getting a divorce. The others are working on keeping their marriage together. Where they are I don’t know, but what I do know is that I need to appreciate my husband and our marriage. I can’t be lazy about spending time with him no matter how tired I am or how much laundry I have; I need to give him and my marriage the time it deserves. I pray for those couples who use to be close to us and for their children that God will continue to protect them. Life is hard and it is filled with ups and downs. We all go through different seasons, some are hard and some are a breeze. I know that the season I am in right now wanting another child and having to wait isn’t easy and I wonder if I can do it. I am sad for my loss but hearing of yet another marrage in ruins made me thankful that I have Dave to go throught this very hard time with me. He may not get how I am feeling, but he is here by my side and tries to understand the pain that I am feeling. I also realize that I can weather this stormy season with Christ as the center of my life. I wonder if those couples lost that focus in their marriage or as individuals. Was it like a derailing train, they saw it coming but couldn’t stop it?

Is something like this happening in your life, do you see the train slowly coming off the track? Slow down, pray and reach out for help. We are not alone! As a mother, wife, daughter, sister or friends always remember No Mom alone! Most of all remember that we are children of God and He will help us when we lean on Him, Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Draw on Christ for your strength and allow Him to steer you through the rough seas. Most of all I hope that you know and feel that as mothers we are never alone we have each other to lean on. Most important we have Christ. I hope that you can lean on him.

Blessings,
Denise Kother