No Mom Alone

(Please note that Denise Kother asked me to enter this post for her.)


In the past few days, my little world has been turned upside down. I will get very personal with you as I share what has happened. On Memorial Day, in the middle of making my potato salad for a picnic we were going to, I had a miscarriage. The days that followed have not been easy at all. Emotionally and physically, they have been some of the hardest days to deal with. It has even made me question having another child. And yet in the middle of all of this I found out that yet another couple that my husband and I are friends with is getting a divorce. I am not sure why, but it looks like it is going to get ugly because there are children involved. So in the middle of my emotional misery I found myself wondering how did this happen? They are both believers and have been married for 15 years and seemed happy. But somehow somewhere along the road of life they lost their way to each other. Now I understand why my friend stopped calling me; it wasn’t anything I did even thought I thought it was.

When my husband and I got married, there were a few couples that were our friends and we hung out with a lot. We started having children about the same time, went on vacation together, had dinner parties and spent a lot of time together. In the past 4 years, some of those marriages have dissolved in different ways. I can’t say for certain what has happened to them; however two of them had infidelity as a part of the problem in the marriages. We have looked up to these couples and felt that their marriages were strong. But it seems that all of these couples got lost along the road of life and thought that things were better or different if they just had something more or someone else in there lives.

A year ago I wanted to buy a new and bigger house because I wanted to have more children we would need more space. Well the Lord thought that the house we were in was much better, and we couldn’t sell our current house. Looking back I am so glad we didn’t. I had that want for things to be bigger and better to give me more of what I wanted. I stopped really listening to the Lord and followed my own path. Thankfully, I didn’t stop listening to my husband who kept pointing out that if the Lord wanted us to move we would have sold our house no problem. So this year I have begun to try and reconnect with the Lord. I completed the Bible study on the book of Daniel by Beth Moore. She made me see what my Babylon was and how I was so caught up in what I didn’t have that I forgot what I did have! One of the things that I came to realize during those past months is that all I need is right in front of my face and that I have to open my eyes and see it. I have a wonderful, hard-working husband who does all he can for me. I have three beautiful children who are filled with God’s love. Most of all I have a home, and as little as it is, it is mine. I have realized that I don’t need a big house to have more children, just lots of love (and patience). I also know that God is the one who has blessed me and protects me from the materialistic views of the world, and as long as I keep Him as my center, He will guide me.

As for the couples we know, two of them are getting a divorce. The others are working on keeping their marriage together. Where they are I don’t know, but what I do know is that I need to appreciate my husband and our marriage. I can’t be lazy about spending time with him no matter how tired I am or how much laundry I have; I need to give him and my marriage the time it deserves. I pray for those couples who use to be close to us and for their children that God will continue to protect them. Life is hard and it is filled with ups and downs. We all go through different seasons, some are hard and some are a breeze. I know that the season I am in right now wanting another child and having to wait isn’t easy and I wonder if I can do it. I am sad for my loss but hearing of yet another marrage in ruins made me thankful that I have Dave to go throught this very hard time with me. He may not get how I am feeling, but he is here by my side and tries to understand the pain that I am feeling. I also realize that I can weather this stormy season with Christ as the center of my life. I wonder if those couples lost that focus in their marriage or as individuals. Was it like a derailing train, they saw it coming but couldn’t stop it?

Is something like this happening in your life, do you see the train slowly coming off the track? Slow down, pray and reach out for help. We are not alone! As a mother, wife, daughter, sister or friends always remember No Mom alone! Most of all remember that we are children of God and He will help us when we lean on Him, Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Draw on Christ for your strength and allow Him to steer you through the rough seas. Most of all I hope that you know and feel that as mothers we are never alone we have each other to lean on. Most important we have Christ. I hope that you can lean on him.

Blessings,
Denise Kother

Convention Update

CONVENTION UPDATE

Ta da! A Convention announcement!

We just signed the papers and we thank you for your prayers as we worked on moving, well, a whole lotta details in just a few days.

Drum roll #1: The Gaylord Palms in Kissimmee, FL (Orlando area) was able to welcome us (in the midst of many conventions needing to move).

Drum roll #2: We're able to keep the registration fees the same, so some of you might decide to come early or stay late, and enjoy the Orlando amenities with your friends (or family).

And thanks for all the great ideas of cities! You helped our future dreaming. 'Twould be fun!

And again, it will be great because of Who we'll be with: "Where(ver) two or three (thousand) are gathered in my name, there am I with them." (Mt. 18:20, our year's theme verse with my additions).

Naomi Cramer Overton

Convention Details:
The MOPS International Convention will be at the Gaylord Palms, Kissimmee, FL (Orlando area). Dates will be the same, August 5-7, 2010. Speakers and artists will be the same great lineup — Julie Barnhill, Margaret Feinberg, Donald Miller, Naomi Cramer Overton, Shelly Radic, Go Fish, Mandisa, The Katinas and Richie McDonald.

Convention registration will re-open on Monday, May 17.
The early bird registration deadline will be extended to June 7.
We are working with the Gaylord Opryland for an official letter we can provide to anyone who has already purchased airline tickets to use with airlines to avoid rebooking fees. This letter should assist you in rebooking airline tickets — it will be posted online at www.MOPS.org/convention.
We continue to pray for families and businesses affected by the flooding and we have sent MOPS materials to local MOPS leaders who are distributing supplies in the Nashville area.

MOPS Summit Thoughts

Whew! It was such an amazing day and the moms that I met and spoke to all added in special ways to my Summit experience. I have been mulling over in my mind what to write about and hoping my jumbled thoughts would become more cohesive. I do know there is one thing that I keep going back to in my head, ok, there really is more than one thing, but, this one thing is more persistent. Margaret Feinberg's talk was titled "Courageous Generosity" and referenced the Bible verse "God loves a cheerful giver." 2 Corinthians 9:7b I really started to think about her story about lending her stuff to people and feeling the Spirit urging her to give her possession to them, but her being unable to do that. I have been thinking about my own "giving" and how often I do so reluctantly or out of obligation. It is a real challenge for me.
Her notes in our Summit booklet say:
That little verse says a whole lot, because God isn't as concerned with the gift as much as he is with the attitude behind the gift. That means it doesn't matter whether the gift comes from Walmart or Williams-Sononma. What's important isn't even how it's wrapped (which is a good thing for those of us who stick to the ever ready, ever safe gift bag.) God looks at the heart, and he's looking for a happy one - a person who gives out of joy and overflow rather than out of guilt or fear or even mere obigation."
I could spend a lot of time mentally beating myself up for all those times I am not a cheerful giver, but after that negative thinking started dragging me way down, I changed my thoughts to focus on those times that I did give with a happy heart. I just need to expand that to more places. The "No Mom Alone Courage Challenge" consisted of three points.

1. "A generouse expression may require us to try something new, submerse ourselves in an activity that we're not naturally good at or surround with people who are different than us. Expanding our bandwidth of generosity requires courage."

2. "Look for an opportunity to express God's kindness and generosity in a specific way that doesn't make you feel comfortable. Prayerfully consider a generous act that requires you to be courageous and go for it!"

3. Living with courageous generosity isn't just about giving but also receiving. For many of us, giving can become a place of strength a role we assume, a part of the job description of being a good mom, a good leader or a good wife. Yet generosity includes receiving help, assistance and gifts graciously. Consider how giving and receiving are linked. Which are you naturally better at? Which do you need to become better at? How does receiving increase your humility, sense of community and the presence of God in your life?"

That is some challenge...and that was only part of the challenge we received at the MOPS Summit.

For the moms that attended, what part of the talks (Dr. Liz Selzer, the mom group, Margaret Feinberg, Naomi Cramer Overton) stood out to you and have you been able to find simple courage in the everyday?
For the moms that were unable to attend, was there any part of my little summary of Margaret Feinberg's talk that resonates for you? What is your fear and what is your passion?

Please, post comments and let's get a conversation started. Summit was so inspiring and it would be good for us to share our thoughts and ideas with one another.

Thanks,
Christy

Lancaster PA Summit Site

HOT TOPICS Conference Calls

4 FREE "Hot Topic" Conference Calls just for you!

Have you wished for another leader to talk to about issues you are facing within your MOPS group, such as finding MOPPETS workers, leadership succession, connecting with your Chartering Ministry and figuring out how to get more moms to come to your group?

Here's your chance to connect with leaders from around the country. Pick their brains, find out what works for them and help each other to succeed.

Tuesday, April 20 2 PM EST
MOPPETS - developing a strong program, recruiting child care, dilemmas and issues centering around MOPPETS

Thursday, April 22 2 PM EST
Leadership - finding, retaining, recruiting and succession

Tuesday, April 27 2 PM EST
Group Success - how to get MORE moms to your group

Thursday, April 29 2 PM EST
Relationship with the Chartering Ministry

Register TODAY

Ocean Grove NJ Summit Site

Competition

Lately, my 3-year-old daughter, Danielle, has been focusing her attention on "racing" me wherever we go together and she is quick to be the first to arrive and declare "I win!". When she first started to do it, I thought it was cute and pretended to be racing her while letting her win. Then I thought about it and after a week of constantly competing every time we went upstairs or downstairs or exited the car or headed back to the car or, well, hopefully you get the idea, I got tired of it. I considered the idea that somehow I encourage an atmosphere of competition in my home and within my family and it left me with an uneasy feeling. Reflecting on the theme Bible verse from last year's MOPS Summit, I knew that I wanted to change that competition attitude into a cooperation attitude.

Make every effort to keep unity of the Spirit though the bond of peace. Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itelf up in love, as each part does its work. Ephesians 4:3, 15-16

How many times do I feel that I have to make things more exciting by creating a competition? Isn't the bigger challenge for us all to learn to help one another by doing our best within our family. Isn't this true with other groups I am involved in too? My MOPS group, my Church group, my committees...my extended families. How often do I struggle with an envious response when someone I know gets a new "toy", new clothes, or a new (fill-in the blank yourself). My daughter didn't just pick up her new "I win" racing skills on the streets...she learned them through watching me and my responses. (Deep breath)
Now when she wants to race me, I suggest that we hold hands and help each other. It has been slow going at changing that "gotta win" attitude, but just this morning as we went up the stairs and reached the top, she declared "Mommy wins, I win, and Susie wins (our dog)." And I have to tell you I agree wholeheartedly with that idea. Wouldn't that be the greatest world to live in, where when one of us wins, we all win? Wouldn't it be nice if we could hang up our competition hats and let cooperation be our guide within our families, our friends, our communities, and with strangers?
What do you think?

Summit Lunch Info for the PA sites

Reminder that the MOPS International Summit is scheduled for Saturday, April 17, 2010. Be sure to register at the MOPS website. Here are some more details about the lunch options for both sites.

First Baptist Church of Danville of Danville, PA- Doors open at 9:45am. Registration begins at 10am. Program 10:30am-4:30pm EST. Lunch option available at site: FREE/per person includes: 1/2 a wrap, soup (probably Beef Stew), salad, drink, and cookie. If you would like to puchase lunch on the day of event, please send an email to Chelsi Shultz at hillsideshultzs@verizon.net with the number of lunch orders you will purchase. Place SUMMIT LUNCH in the subject line. If you prefer, feel free to bring your own brown bag lunch.

Worship Center of Lancaster, PA- Doors open at 9:45am. Registration begins at 10am. Program 10:30am-4:30pm EST.
Lunch options available at site: $5/per person include: soup (probably Beef Stew), salad, bread, drinks, and dessert. If you would like to purchase lunch on the day of event, please send an email to Alisha Wambolts at wambolts@hotmail.com with the number of lunch orders you will purchase. Please place SUMMIT LUNCH in the subject line of the email. If you prefer, feel free to bring your own brown bag lunch.